I've been having some existential, quarter-life crisis issues lately.
I really don't like my job. I do my best, put forth all the effort I can, but it just doesn't make me happy.
Friends are having adventures, right and left, and I'm stuck in Walmart 1538, moving features and mixing paint. I wear the same three pair of khakis and four navy blue shirts about three quarters of the time I spend awake.
I keep telling myself that I have all these opportunities. If I wanted to, I could go do something amazing.
Reality is, I can't.
I'm stuck in a vicious cycle of earning and spending money, just to keep my apartment and go to school.
I have to pass up opportunity after opportunity.
I feel like I work more than I do anything else...but it doesn't get me anywhere. I spend breaks, holidays, and my entire summer in the store.
I wish I could be overseas, doing study abroad, or taking summer classes. I wish I could be on vacation, lying on a beach somewhere, or touring a big city. I wish I could be learning...exploring...growing. I'm young. I have two years left of my undergrad.
I know I'm lucky. I try to tell myself that a home, food, clothing, and a little bit extra is much more than most have...but I still feel like my life could me so much more than living by the timeclock.
Perhaps I just have to be patient. Maybe my adventures are still to come.
In the meantime, I'll be under the fluorescent lights.